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Brian’s Reflections:

“I faced death so many times that I thought I’d grown numb to the event.”

“My rage was because I suffered enough from the day I was born, and I deserved better. I had put up with so much that, finally, I wouldn’t put up with anything from anyone.”

“My world would be a world without sickness…a world where sickness of the body and of the mind would cease to exist. I’d like money spent on neuro-research, to find out what causes mental illness.”

“I felt my experience while living with my parents was always very tenuous. If I visited them, I knew it was just a matter of time before I was made to leave next—so I made sure I always had a place to go.”

“Mick, Keith, and I allowed others to pay our way,

in exchange for our company. Entitlement—an ugly quality!”

BRIAN ON LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS:

“My greatest desire always was to have a mind-blowing sexual experience, which would create a feeling of love and bonding, and take me to heights I’d never known. But sexual experiences so often carried so much baggage and expectation—that they seem inadequate to fulfill in real life. I don’t suppose I ever really learned how to please anyone, but only myself. And even that became harder and harder to do.

“I couldn’t really bond or connect with anyone and I missed out on knowing what the experience of love could really be. The arms I ultimately rested in could have been anyone’s—as long as they held me gently and let me rest. I so much wanted to feel safe and comforted, and not have them expect anything of me. The problem was—if you were a rock star, you were supposed to be a stud man. I tried…I really tried.”

On Being in the Public Eye:

“The success brought the drugs and brought the feeling of invincibility. I’m sure it looked that way - that I had gone mad with excesses and drugs. I did some pretty crazy things and was full of myself for sure. But that offset the times of deep depression. I needed courage, so to speak.

“You have to know that standing there in front of thousands of people, all looking at you, all wanting something from you, all expecting you to be great while you’re shaking down into your bones, but wanting to deliver regardless — it was tough, it was very tough.

“And then you start to buy into your own press that you’re wonderful, or that you’re mad, or that you’re any of what’s being said. And you wonder if it can be true. Maybe you’re really nothing at all, and you’re making it all up.”

On his Childhood:

“My rage was due to the fact that I suffered enough from the day I was born, and I deserved better. And I put up with so much that finally I wouldn’t put up with anything from anyone.”

On his leadership of the Rolling Stones:

“My participation in my own demise made everything easier for them to strip me of my leadership. I lost my ‘edginess’ and up-frontmanship to drugs,  paranoia, depression, and my own insecurities. I was the spark, the fire, the flame that ignited the creation of what was the Rolling Stones, but I got tired really fast. My constitution was weaker than the others and more fragile, and I felt bad all the time. Mick diminished me, as opposed to helping me get over being ill. He told me I was worthless, and in my weakened condition, I bought into it.  The wolf dog showed up and I let him take advantage. I didn’t mean to give up my leadership, but I did give them the opportunity to take it from me.”

BRIAN ON THE IDEA FOR THE STONES TO PORTRAY THE BAD BOYS OF ROCK:

“It seemed a good show, yes! The main high for us was getting others to believe we were the shocking bad guys. But in reality we were skinny young guys with penises, who had to be larger than life. We wanted to act like the tough guys—it’s the masculine dream. Like, ‘We’re tough; we’re bad!’ We even stuffed our pants to appear bigger, especially Mick—he could never be big enough. It seemed outrageous, because we were all skin and bones. We portrayed sexy, dangerous bad men. And it worked!”

BRIAN ON THE MEDIA:

“The press—holy shit! Originally I had to suck up to get the band exposure. But later on they asked inane questions, and the media jerks wanted to dig us a hole for every little ‘oops!’ we might do.
“You know, we did some good songs and made some good records, and we finally had some money coming in. Suddenly the press thinks they own you, and you have to be a certain way and kiss their ass. Yeah, they were annoying. Maybe I didn’t always act right; maybe I wasn’t always the graceful rock star for the media. But hell, I tried!”

 

About "Time Is On My Side":

“A collaboration, and we harmonized beautifully, don’t you think? I sang backup, but Mick really did shine here. Let’s give the devil his due. I wrote the basic melody and decided on how the harmony would go.”

Brian reminiscing about the 'good old days' with the Byrds, before isolating himself at Cotchford Farm:

     Brian said the Byrds “used some of my ideas for songs, and I helped them with my tambourine work. I did it for fun, not for the credit. We’d just hang out and play, and it used to be fun back in those days.”

 

Brian on Selecting Charlie Watts:

“From the moment I first saw Charlie, I knew he was the one, without a shadow of a doubt,” Brian explained. “He had the raw talent I was looking for because I knew we (the band) were going to create something that hadn’t been out there before. I thought Charlie and I could work together…yeah! On hearing his sound, I was more on fire than I’d been in a long time.”

Brian On Choosing the Rolling Stones’ Name

“The name popped into my head and made

my soul feel free, like a buzz that shot through me.”

On His Leadership of the Band

“I was their leader, sharing my dream and my vision with them. I had to do it myself, see it for myself. My own vision was different from everyone else’s in all ways. My expression had to be from me, as I saw it and felt it, and not dictated by others—once I was musically set free.”

Brian Speaking Honestly About the Women in His Life

“I’d like to say that I loved all the mothers of my children, even if the love may have been in a very fleeting, momentary kind of thing. I liked them or loved them in the time that I was with them. But I was moving very fast and wasn’t intending to settle down and get the white picket fence.”

“Fighting was what turned Anita on sexually, but it didn’t make for a good family life.”

Brian on the Inner Workings of His Band

“Bill definitely added to the music, but let’s give Mick & Keith their due. They became very proficient at turning a phrase & coming up with some very key ideas. So, yes, each one added to the band or they wouldn’t have been important. But I still was the maestro, the director, the one who knew which sounds needed to come in, which needed to fade away and come back as a crescendo, and really stir the emotions. I could call it stirring the soul, but it was really more stirring the loins!”

        BRIAN AT THE END OF HIS TIME WITH THE STONES

“They really don’t want me to have ever existed.”

Brian on Living in the Land of Oz

“The band’s use of drugs started out as partying and the fruits of our labors. Drugs were free flowing & everyone was doing it. But for me, I did them to self-medicate—to mask my depression & anxiety—and to hide the fear of wondering whether I could keep measuring up.”

Brian on Cotchford Farm

    “I didn’t buy Cotchford to party…that wasn’t a part of who I was at the time. I was looking for inner peace, since there was an emptiness and loneliness that had always stayed with me. What I needed there to make everything perfect would have been someone to love, especially since my restless spirit was forever with me, driving me. I needed to relax.”