THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT CONTAINS BRIAN JONES PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES REGARDING HIS BUSINESS AND PERSONAL ASSOCIATION WITH ALLEN KLEIN AND ABKCO PRODUCTIONS.
THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTATION DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM GLORIA SHEPHERD AND NONE OF THE WORDS, SCENES, OR IDEAS ARE HERS. THE ONLY ORIGINAL WRITINGS FROM THE AUTHOR ARE EXPLANATORY PHRASES CONTAINED WITHIN A FEW PARENTHESES—FOR PURPOSES OF EASE OF READING.
THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTATION ORIGINATED FROM BRIAN JONES’ AUDIOTAPES AND COPIED VERBATIM. SOME PHRASES MAY SOUND A BIT CONFUSING; HOWEVER, THE AUTHOR CHOSE TO LEAVE BRIAN’S WORDS ORIGINAL AND AS HE SPOKE THEM.
FOR REASONS OF PRIVACY, CERTAIN IDENTIFICATIONS OF INDIVIDUALS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED. THE DOCUMENTATION COMES FROM DIFFERENT TAPES AND SPOKEN AT DIFFERENT TIMES. SEVERAL ARE BRIAN TALKING TO KEEP AN INFORMAL “DIARY” OF HIS THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES, AND OTHERS ARE AN INFORMAL GIVE-AND-TAKE BETWEEN HIM AND A CLOSE FRIEND. THE FRIEND’S NAME HAS ALSO BEEN ELIMINATED FOR PURPOSES OF PRIVACY.
THE FILE BEGINS:
BRIAN REALIZES SOMEONE WAS SIPHONING MONEY FROM THE ROLLING STONES, AND STARTS TO KEEP HIS OWN RECORDS:
“IT IS BEYOND ME WHERE ALL OUR MONEY IS GOING AND MY RECORD KEEPING ISN’T THE BEST. THE MONEY MAKING HAS GONE TOO FAR OUT OF OUR HANDS. WE NO LONGER OWN OUR OWN WORKS AND HAVEN’T FOR SOME TIME.”
Q – HOW HAVE YOUR VERBAL BATTLES WITH ABKCO, IN PARTICULAR ALLEN KLEIN, GONE?
A – “WHEN I USED TO HAVE MY WITS ABOUT ME, AND NOW THAT SEEMS SO LONG AGO, I WAS VERY ANGRY AND UPSET. THEY BROKE PROMISES TIME AND AGAIN IN KEEPING PARTICULAR MARGINS OF MONEY FROM THE BAND—KEEPING TOO MUCH; KLEIN AND OTHER ASSOCIATES AS WELL. THERE ARE TIMES KLEIN WON’T TAKE MY CALLS AND THEN THERE ARE TIMES ALLEN PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND ME SAYING THE OLD ‘TRUST ME; WE KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING; IT’S FOR THE GOOD OF THE BAND, BRIAN’. HE CONTINUES TO ACT LIKE I CAN TALK TO HIM. HE GLAD-HANDS ME.”
AT COTCHFORD FARM, BRIAN RECORDED HIS NEW MUSIC. “IT’S STARTED, STOPPED, TONS OF SONGS OR WHAT I THINK THEY CAN BE. HOWEVER MICK WANTS ALL TRACES OF MY CREATIVITY DESTROYED. BOTH MICK AND ABKCO WANT TO DISCREDIT MY CREATIVE ABILITY.”
SPEAKING OF BRIAN’S FINANCIAL SITUATION AROUND END OF JUNE ’69 – (SHORTLY BEFORE HIS DEATH) – “IT’S NOW WORSE THAN BEFORE, BUT RECOVERING. MY FINANCES HAVE BEEN MORE, BUT RECOVERING AGAIN. SO MUCH HAS BEEN WASTED ON DRUGS. ABKCO IS PAYING ME A MEAGER ALLOWANCE. I BASICALLY HAVE COINS IN MY POCKETS—NOTHING MORE. I FEEL LIKE I’M IN PRISON AND HAVING MONEY DOLED OUT.”
Q - HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFRONTATIONS?
“ORIGINALLY, I ARGUED WITH PROMISES ABKCO MADE AND TRIED TO GET THEM TO USE INTEGRITY IN KEEPING THEIR BARGAIN. BUT WHEN I REALIZED THAT DIDN’T WORK I SOMETIMES SWELLED MY CHEST (LAUGHTER) AS BIG AS POSSIBLE, RAISED MY VOICE TO THE EXTREME. I’VE POINTED AND POUNDED ON ANYTHING NEARBY. AFTERWARDS I’VE FELT SO DEFEATED; I’D LEAVE THE ROOM DISCONSOLATE. THIS HAS TURNED INTO A DETERIORATION PROCESS. I FEEL MY HEAD AND NECK IN A NOOSE. ORIGINALLY ALLEN SHOWED ME GREAT RESPECT; ONCE I SIGNED WITH HIM AND TRUSTED HIM, IT FELL APART.
“I’VE SADLY COME TO REALIZE THAT WITH ALLEN HIS WORD DOESN’T MATTER, PROMISES DON’T MATTER, AND RIGHT DOESN’T MATTER. THE MACHINE HAS COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER; THERE’S A METALLIC FEELING AND FEELING OF DREAD IN MY HEART.”
Q - WHAT ABOUT THE SETTLEMENT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET FROM ALLEN KLEIN? IF YOU’RE NOT TURNING THE STONES NAME OVER TO ABKCO, THEN WHAT IS THIS MONEY FOR?
A - “MAINLY HUSH MONEY; IT’S THE PAY OFF, BUT I DON’T AGREE WITH ANY OF IT. I WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO GET MONEY FOR WORK I’VE DONE. JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT ACTIVELY PLAYING WITH THEM, (THE BAND) I’M STILL ON THE PAYROLL. IT’S NEVER ENTERED MY MIND TO ACCEPT ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR THE STONES NAME. I KNOW IF I LET THEM, THEY’LL GO MUCH HIGHER IN OFFERING ADDITIONAL FUNDS, SURE.”
Q. DID ABKCO OFFER MORE MONEY BECAUSE IT’S WHAT YOU DESERVE?
A - “NO! THEY WANT ME TO BE LIKE THE LITTLE KID IN THE PICTURE, NAKED AND EXPOSED AND HELPLESS. BUT I KNOW THEY’LL KEEP OFFERING MONEY HIGHER AND HIGHER. YOU SEE THEY THINK THEY CAN BUY ME, BUT WHAT THEY DON’T KNOW IS THAT I CAN’T BE BOUGHT! THAT REALLY ANGERS ME THAT THEY THINK I CAN BE BOUGHT. THEY TRIED TO OFFER MORE MONEY BUT THEY NEVER WENT AS HIGH AS THEY WOULD HAVE GONE, BECAUSE I’M NOT PLAYING ALONG.”
BRIAN SPEAKING ON HOW THE BAND USED TO GIVE THE APPEARANCE OF CROSS-DRESSING:
“THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO BUT TO GET RID OF THE PAST. THE BUSINESS SIDE OF ABKCO FEELS THAT IT’S BAD FOR BUSINESS; THEY DON’T WANT US TO LOOK LIKE WE ARE THE FAIRIES—THE QUEERS–EVEN THOUGH THAT IS SOMEWHAT ‘IN’ BUT STILL BAD FOR BUSINESS TO SHOW UP DRESSED LIKE WE’RE POOFS. THEIR PRIMARY MOTIVES ARE MONEY AND ANYTHING TO DO WITH RAKING THAT IN. THEY WANT TO BE PROTECTED FROM MY SEXUALITY (LAUGHTER). THEY WANT MY SEXUAL ENERGY TO ATTRACT BOTH MALES AND FEMALES, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY WANT THAT ILLUSION OF THE ‘OUT OF REACH APPEARANCE’; THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE IT GET AROUND THAT MICK AND I WERE GETTING IT ON WITH ONE ANOTHER.”
SPEAKING OF BRIAN’S “SECRET” TRIP IN MAY OF ’69 TO NEW YORK CITY –
Q - HOW DID YOU ARRANGE THIS TRIP? DO YOU BELIEVE THEY’LL (ABKCO) FIND OUT ABOUT IT?
A - “I HAVEN’T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT MYSELF, UNTIL YOU BROUGHT IT UP, DARLING. I BELIEVE THAT THEY KNOW; THEY HAD ME FOLLOWED, AND THEY DISCOVERED MY WHEREABOUTS.”
Q – ARE THESE REPRESENTATIVES OF ABKCO?
A - “I DON’T KNOW WHO THEY WERE, OR I WOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED THEM.”
“I FLEW A REGULAR, COMMERCIAL AIRPLANE. I WORE A BROWN WIG OR SOMETHING SIMILAR, AND A MOUSTACHE. (LAUGHTER) THIS IS THE HIPPIE ERA, REMEMBER. FULL, LONG, UGLY.”
“I TOOK A FAKE PASSPORT. NO RESERVATION IN PARTICULAR. I MAINTAINED MY DISGUISE MOST OF THE TIME, THOUGH IN SOME AREAS LIKE IN THE PARK I’D BE THERE AS MYSELF, BUT NO ONE RECOGNIZED ME. I DIDN’T HAVE ON MY STAGE CLOTHES OR MY FRILLY BLOUSES. YES, I STAYED ALONE AT HOTEL. IT WAS THE ODDEST THING; IT WAS LIKE I WAS A GHOST, MOVING IN AND OUT. I CONTACTED NO ONE. I WAS TRYING TO PULL A TRICK. IT WASN’T TO LET PEOPLE KNOW. I STAYED IN MANHATTAN, IN THE MIDDLE, NOT FAR FROM KLEIN’S.”
“RUMOR HAS IT THAT (MUST REMAIN ANONYMOUS) IS THE MAN TO SEE. HIS SECRETARY KNEW I WAS COMING AND KNEW THAT HE WOULD MEET WITH ME. I DON’T KNOW IF I WAS BEING FOLLOWED, DARLING, AND THEN I LOOKED.”
Q - WHO WOULD TIP THEM OFF?
A - “THE HOUNDS POSSIBLY FOLLOWED ME WHEN I WENT TO THE AIRPORT. I HAVE A FEELING SOMEONE WAS ON THE PLANE WITH ME ALSO. IF I WERE FOLLOWED OVER THERE, THEY WERE VERY DISCREET, VERY JAMES BOND YOU KNOW.”
“THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN, DEAR, BECAUSE I’VE NEVER PUT THAT POSSIBILITY TOGETHER. ALTHOUGH WHEN I’M BECOMING INCREASINGLY PARANOID -- WHEN IT ALL SEEMS LIKE MAYBE IT’S THE DRUGS OR MAYBE I’M SIMPLY MAKING IT UP -- BUT I HAVE GREAT REASON TO BE PARANOID.”
Q - WHAT DID YOU SAY WHEN YOU LEFT COTCHFORD FOR THIS TRIP?
A – “TO MARY (HIS HOUSEKEEPER) I JUST SAID, ‘I’LL BE BACK.’ AND SHE SAID, ‘JUST BE CAREFUL.’ TOM (KEYLOCK) DROVE ME TO TOWN, WHERE I TOOK A TAXI. ALL I HAD WAS A SMALL BRIEFCASE WITH ME—NOT WANTING TO ATTRACT. I PICKED UP TROUSERS AND T-SHIRTS ON THE OTHER SIDE. I HAD MONEY THAT DAY. IMAGINE THAT: BRIAN JONES, LEADER OF THE ROLLING STONES, FLAT BROKE! YOU SEE, AFTER WE HAD PROPER MANAGEMENT, WE BECAME FLAT BROKE. WE ALWAYS HAD MONEY WHEN IT WAS JUST US.” (BITTERLY)
“THE PAPERS WERE ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS OF THE FORMATION OF THE STONES, WITH ME AS LEADER OF THE BAND,” (THE PAPERS THAT BRIAN LEFT WITH THE ATTORNEY.)
Q – WHAT ABOUT THE RUMOR YOU CAN’T TRAVEL BECAUSE OF THE ARRESTS?
A - “I WAS COOLING MY HEELS FOR A WHILE; THAT’S TRUE, BUT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH THE RECORD, YOU KNOW. I COULD HAVE TAKEN A PRIVATE FLIGHT, WITH CARGO PEOPLE SNEAKING PEOPLE AROUND. I SEE WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, BUT THIS IS ANOTHER TRUMPED UP CHARGE. ALTHOUGH, YES, I PLEADED GUILTY, BUT ALL OF THIS IS PADDING ADDED TO THE STORY.”
“ABKCO JUST WANTS TO GET THE LAST BIT OF JUICE OUT OF ME. EVEN THOUGH ALLEN SEES ME AS A BARRIER AND A PROBLEM, AND HE WANTS TO FIX THE PROBLEM. VERY INSIGHTFUL,” BRIAN COMMENTS.
Q. WHEN DID THINGS START GOING BAD WITH YOU AND ALLEN KLEIN?
A - “WHEN I LOST MY VOICE AS LEADER. WHEN I COULDN’T SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF SO MUCH. IT WAS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE TO FIND MY POSITION; TO FIND MY PLACE. MANAGEMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME, BUT THEY ACTUALLY TOOK AWAY MY ROLE, MY PERSONA, MY NECESSITY INSIDE THE GROUP.
“AT FIRST I CAME DOWN HARD ON ALLEN FOR TAKING AWAY MY POWER. I WAS AGGRESSIVE WITH THE BUTCHER; BUT THEY CUT MY NUTS OFF. ALLEN MADE IT CLEAR WHO WAS REALLY IN CHARGE.”
Q - WHEN WERE YOU THREATENED PHYSICALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME?
A - “THERE WERE VEILED THREATS AND INNUENDOS THAT BECAME THICKER AND THICKER. THE WORDS WERE NOT EXPLICIT BUT THEY WERE IMPLICIT IN THE VIBES THEY WERE SENDING TO ME. I’D SAY IT STARTED IN ’67.
“THERE WERE TIMES I WOULD SAY I WOULD LEAVE TO MAKE THEM WANT ME TO STAY. AND THERE WERE TIMES I WAS REALLY FED UP. THERE WERE TIMES I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE IF I LEFT THE BAND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE TO DO OTHER THAN BE WITH THEM. WHEN THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT I MEANT IT TO LEAVE AND TAKE THE BAND’S NAME, IT ALL BECAME SERIOUS.
“MY LEAVING OR NOT LEAVING WAS OF LITTLE CONSEQUENCE, ACTUALLY. IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE BAND’S NAME. THEY WERE JUST GOING TO SWEEP ME UNDER THE DIRTY RUG, REGARDLESS.”
Q –DO YOU TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY THAT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL YOU?
A - “YES AND NO AT DIFFERENT TIMES. I DON’T THINK THEY REALLY MEAN IT. I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE….”
Q - DO ANY OF THE OTHER FELLOWS KNOW YOU’RE BEING THREATENED?
A - “NO, BUT THEY AREN’T IN THE SAME SITUATION I’M IN. THEY KNOW I’LL HAVE HELL TO PAY IF I DON’T GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. THE THREATS ARE MORE IMPLIED.”
Q – NOW THAT YOU REALIZE HOW SERIOUS IT CAN BE, DO YOU GO TO THE OTHER STONES OR DYLAN, HENDRIX, OR LENNON AND SAY “THEY’RE THREATENING TO KILL ME!”
A - “NO. IT’S PERSONAL BETWEEN US. I DON’T THINK THEY’LL TAKE IT THAT FAR—OR AT LEAST I HOPE. IT’S LIKE BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN FAMILY. IT’S A PRIDE THING ALSO.”
Q – WHY, SINCE YOUR MUSIC IS SO GOOD, WHY DO THEY WANT TO DESTROY YOU?
A - “BECAUSE ABKCO CAN SEE I’LL CONTINUE TO BE A PROBLEM LATER ON IF THEY TRY TO GET ME TO DO THINGS THEIR WAY, AND THEY’VE DECIDED TO CROWN MICK AS THE NUMBER ONE STONE. THEY FIGURE THEY’VE HAD THE BEST OF ME ALREADY AS FAR AS GETTING MY MUSIC.
“PLUS, THERE CAN’T BE TWO LEADERS AND ALLEN’S DECIDED THAT MICK IS THE ONE TO PROMOTE BECAUSE HE’S EASY TO WORK WITH, BECAUSE HE’S THE ONE WHO WANTS THE STARDOM SO MUCH. I’M THE ONE WHO IS ABOUT THE MUSIC AND MICK IS ABOUT THE BUSINESS OF MAKING MONEY AND GETTING FAME.”
Q – COULDN’T IT WORK THEN FOR YOU WITH YOUR MUSIC AND MICK WITH HIS BUSINESS AGGRESSIVENESS – FOR YOU BOTH TO WORK WELL TOGETHER?
A -“IT’S ABOUT MY EGO, TOO, NOT ONLY MICK’S EGO.”
* * *
RE ABKCO’S HENCHMAN – THE “RIGHT-HAND MAN” (SEE CHAPTER 23 OF Brian Jones Straight from the Heart):
BRIAN TALKS TO HIMSELF—AS IF TO KEEP A DIARY OF THAT FATEFUL DAY—ABOUT ABKCO MAN WHO PHYSICALLY ATTACKED HIM JUST WEEKS BEFORE HIS DEATH:
BRIAN SAYS, “IT WAS SUCH A SICKENINGLY, NAUSEATINGLY HOPELESS FEELING. NO ONE WAS THERE TO HELP ME. I’M TOO FAR GONE TO BE OPTIMISTIC ANY LONGER. AFTER THE ATTACK I JUST SAT THERE FOR DAYS FEELING SO DEPLETED. I’VE OFTEN USED THIS METHOD OF DISASSOCIATING WITH MATTERS WHERE I FEEL OVERWHELMED. AT THESE TIMES, I CAN SEE OTHERS WHO SEE ME THINK THAT I’M GOING CRAZY BECAUSE I APPEAR TO BE ACTING STRANGELY-AT LEAST TO THEM.”
BRIAN TALKS ABOUT WHY HE APPROACHED THIS PARTICULAR MAN TO NEGOTIATE BETWEEN HIM AND ALLEN KLEIN, AND WHAT ACTUALLY OCCURRED -
“I WANT OUT OF MY CONTRACT. BUT WANT TO KEEP MY NAME AND DO MY OWN BAND. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO MY OWN THING. WHEN I AT LAST REALIZED THAT OUR MEETING WAS GOING NOWHERE AND THAT HE IN FACT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE, I WAS SHOCKED AND SURPRISED. THEN HIS ENERGY TURNED FORCEFUL, AGGRESSIVE. HIS ATTACK WAS BRUTAL, AND I NOW BELIEVE HE ALWAYS WANTED A REASON TO ATTACK ME.
“I THOUGHT WE HAD A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP AND IT NEVER SEEMED PERSONAL. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO HIM, BUT I WAS WRONG. HE LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND THINKS OF ME AS AN IDIOT.”
“BEFORE THIS, I KNEW WAS OUT OF THE BAND BUT DIDN’T REALIZE HOW COMPLETELY.”
“MY LEFT HAND AND LEFT FACE ARE INJURED. I STAYED APPROX 3 DAYS IN HOTEL TO HEAL, DRINKING MOSTLY LIQUIDS, IF AT ALL. HIS ASSAULT STARTED AT THE BAR THEN HE ROUGH-HOUSED ME INTO THE ALLEY NEXT TO THE BAR; HE SHOVED HIS KNEE INTO MY GROIN AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF ME; HE TOOK ME OFF TO AN INN—PAID OFF THE INN-KEEPER TO TAKE ME TO A ROOM. I CALLED FOR TOM TO TAKE ME HOME DAYS LATER; I BELIEVE TOM KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED, AS NO QUESTIONS WERE ASKED.
“AT THIS POINT THERE ARE TWO SIDES, THE STONES SIDE AND MY SIDE. A PERSON MUST BE ON ONE OF THESE TWO SIDES AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, THERE ARE ONLY ONE OR TWO PEOPLE ON MY SIDE.”
“MEETING WITH HIM WAS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT BY ME TO GET BACK IN WITH THE ORGANIZATION. HE’S VERY MUSCULAR, DOES PAY-OFFS TO KEEP THE STONES IN FRONT; HE HANDLES MONEY, MARKETING. HIS BUSINESS IS THUGGERY; PAYOFFS ARE ACCEPTED.
“WE’VE KNOW OF EACH OTHER, WE’VE SPOKEN; WE’VE BEEN IN SOME OF THE SAME MEETINGS. I THOUGHT WE WERE OF THE SAME MIND.
“WE MET AT A PUB. DRINKING A LOT OF ALCOHOL. I NOW REALIZE HE WAS PLAYING HIS PART TO FIND OUT WHAT I WANTED; HE WAS PLAYING HIS PART PRETENDING TO GO ALONG WITH ME. WHEN I USED MY RADIANT ENERGY (SAD LAUGHTER) MY SEX APPEAL ON HIM, THAT’S WHEN HE DECIDED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME. HE CALLED ME BUGGER.
“I WAS DESPERATE TO DO SOMETHING TO GET BACK WITH THE ORGANIZATION. I IMAGINE I WAS TRYING TO GET TOO MUCH INFORMATION; TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON; IT WAS SO CONFUSING AS FAR AS WHO WANTED ME IN, WHO DIDN’T WANT ME IN; DID I WANT TO BE IN; HELL, MY IDEAS ABOUT FORMING ANOTHER BAND WERE INITIALLY MY DESIRE SIMPLY TO KEEP ON LIVING. THE STONES ARE MY HEART AND SOUL, BUT PRIDE GOT INTO IT AND ANGER AND THAT INFERNAL DEPRESSION.
“OF COURSE I COULD STAY WITH THEM IN THE LONG RUN, BUT STILL IT IS MY BABY GONE BAD.
“I THREATENED (THE HENCHMAN) TO START MY OWN BAND; I TOLD HIM IT WAS IN THE WORKS. I SLAMMED THE TABLE FOR EFFECT; LIKE HITTING A DRUM (LAUGHTER) THAT REALLY PISSED HIM OFF. I WAS NOTHING IF NOT SMOOTH, OR SO I THOUGHT.
“HE LIFTED ME UP AND OUT. HE STRONG ARMED ME. NO ONE NOTICED. THE INN WAS SURPRISINGLY EMPTY.
“I COULDN’T DEFEND MYSELF. I WAS LIFTED AND SHUFFLED OUT THE DOOR. I WAS STARTLED AND SHOCKED INTO BEING MOTIONLESS. IT’S NOT THAT I THOUGHT I COULD FIGHT BACK; IT JUST DIDN’T OCCUR TO ME OR EVEN TO RUN. I WAS HELD AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE INN, BEING BASHED. HE BASHED MY LEFT HAND AS I TRIED TO BE DEFENSIVE. HE CRUSHED MY HAND BACKWARDS.
“IT’S LIKE HE BECAME ANGRY WITH MY FLIRTATION. I HADN’T COUNTED ON HIM BEING OUT FOR BLOOD, NO MATTER WHAT. I TRULY THOUGHT I WAS IN CHARGE OF THE CONVERSATION FOR THE LONGEST TIME.”
“I BELIEVE I WENT BLANK WHEN ATTACK STARTED. I NEVER GOT A HIT IN. HE HIT ME TOO HARD FOR WORDS TO COME.
“I WAS PUT IN THE ROOM BY THE MAN DRIVING THE CAR. I DON’T THINK I DID ANYTHING FOR AT LEAST A DAY AND A HALF. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING FOR OVER A DAY AND THEN I BATHED. LATE ON THE SECOND DAY I ORDERED ALCOHOL. MY BILL WAS COVERED.
“I THINK IT WAS THE THIRD OR FOURTH DAY I CALLED FOR TOM. I STILL THOUGHT TOM WAS ON MY SIDE.
“MARY (HIS HOUSEKEEPER) AVERTED HER EYES TO PRETEND SHE DIDN’T SEE HOW I LOOKED. THAT’S WHAT TOLD ME THEY WERE ALL IN ON IT, WHEN NO ONE ACTED LIKE THEY SAW ANYTHING WRONG.
“ANNA (WOHLIN) JUST WANTS ME TO BE ‘BRIAN JONES OF THE ROLLING STONES.’ I’M PARANOID, TOO, BUT FOR GOOD REASON. I’M SICK INSIDE MYSELF STILL. MY LEFT HAND HURTS BUT IT’S NOT BROKEN. I HURT INSIDE, HURT ALL OVER.
“SOME MAY THINK I SHOULD LEAVE THE COUNTRY; I’M TOO SHATTERED TO THINK OF AN ESCAPE ROUTE AT THIS POINT. I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIGURE IT OUT. I AM LIKE A FRAIL LITTLE BIRD IN THIS PRISON.”
“I SPOKE WITH (THE HENCHMAN) TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHERE THINGS STOOD WITH THE BUSINESS AND WHERE I FIT INTO IT. TALKING WITH HIM AND HOW WOULD MY STARTING A NEW BAND STACK UP WITHIN THE ORGANIZATION. I NEEDED SOMEONE TO TELL ME THE TRUTH; HOW I COULD KEEP THOSE THINGS AND BE AWARE OF THE INNER WORKINGS. HE NEVER GAVE ME ANY FEEDBACK, BUT HE LED ME ON. HE WAS NEVER GOING TO TELL ME ANYTHING.”
“I DIDN’T KNOW FOR SURE I WAS LEAVING (THE BAND) AT THIS POINT. I WAS FLIRTING TO MANIPULATE AND IT BACKFIRED. HE HURT ME. HE WAS VERY ROUGH. THERE WAS NO FIGHTING HIM OFF. I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HOSPITAL. IT WAS SICKENING. NO ONE KNOWS.”
###